How to be the very best parent in the universe:

Did I get your attention? Good! 

Random fact: Did you know that studies have shown drunk driving to be equal to driving while exhausted? It's true! When a person is exhausted their brains just don't function as well as it should. Incoherence is a common issue in my house as I am sure it is or has been at some point in your house. Or, maybe you can't remember...

You may be asking why I am posting about exhaustion and parenting when this page is supposed to be about living a simple, healthy life. Well, I feel that it's incredibly applicable. Why? Because I feel that I, along with other "good" parents, have set the bar for being a "good" parent unattainably high. Sometimes I am so hard on myself that I worry I've said something to my daughter (18 months) that will somehow negatively affect her future self. When I find myself thinking this way, I wonder why I feel this way. Was it my upbringing? Maybe... We all want to be better parents than our parents no matter how great they were/are. On my own parenting journey I have grown to appreciate my parents in a way I couldn't imagine before we had our daughter.

Since beginning our healthy journey, I have had to re-examine our lifestyle choices again and again. And that will probably continue until the day I die. I'm always interested in evolving as a person. Sometimes evolving means taking an idea I had (rigid or not) and throwing it out the window because an experience showed me a different result. Let me give you an example, and it's not one I'm very excited about sharing. I have read multiple studies with published results (only referring to peer reviewed articles) regarding the effects of television on children under the age of two. The way I have Interpreted these results is that there are too many adverse reactions a child has when they're exposed to television at such a young age. My husband and I were 100% sure that there was no possible way our daughter was going to watch even five minutes of television before her second birthday. Oh, the things you're absolutely certain of... 

One day I really wanted a shower. It had been three days without one and I just really needed to have the relaxation of a nice, hot shower. Before this day I'm telling you about, I would just take one at night while my husband did our daughter's bedtime routine. For various reasons, this time it just didn't work out. I had enough... I just wanted a shower which should be easily attainable! So there I was. Faced with a dilemma - stick to my guns and not put on something to entertain my daughter for 10 minutes so I can shower, or turn on Netflix and find something to take her mind off of me for a little bit. For me, this was a huge issue. I had declared to many of my friends what my feelings were about this subject and here I was, considering the tv as a source of entertainment for our baby. But you know what? I decided that I deserved the shower. I am a stay-at-home-mom and devote my entire self to my family. I could take just a few minutes to myself, couldn't I? My parenting do's and don'ts had gotten me so worked up that I felt I would be a "bad" parent if I turned on the tv. THIS is what's wrong to do to yourself! Let me tell you that I really enjoyed that shower. And the nature show I selected wasn't flashy or contain swear words and, since we only have Netflix I don't have to worry about commercials. Yes, I still think exposing young children to television has negative side effects. But so does driving yourself crazy and losing yourself as a person. Am I a "bad" parent because I believe our daughter is being exposed to something potentially harmful? I don't believe I am, at least not where limited exposure to television shows is concerned.

We have since allowed our daughter to watch shows on Netflix from time to time with strict viewing time limits; everything in moderation. And, for us, the shows she's limited to works with our requirements of having few screen changes, nothing flashing, and others. This is our justification to having time to make breakfast, or take a shower, or just go to the bathroom. I won't even get started on a tangent about how much I covet the few moments I have to myself when I have to use the loo. Now I know why my mom used to lock the door! 

We have decided to become less rigid about things that we don't think matter as much in the long run and, instead, focus on the more important issues. Since beginning the Paleo lifestyle (I will talk about that in an upcoming post) we have shifted to focus on eating only organics as well as local, sustainable foods and fermented drinks/foods. Those are the things which we feel will have an effect on us from today until the day we die. So taking better care of our bodies and showing our daughter how to live a simple, healthy life has taken the front seat where zero tv exposure used to be. 

My point is this: figure out what works best for you and your family. I and others may not agree with your beliefs, but that doesn't matter. Everyone has reasons as to why they do or don't do things. But it is important to be open to changing those ideas if you find valid, opposing viewpoints. I don't pretend to know everything and am sure my thoughts and beliefs will continue to evolve. At least I hope they do. All I ask of you is to not be super rigid about the things that turn out to be "small picture". I may not be everyone's definition of a good or great parent, but I am my by own definition.  I should probably repeat those words to myself every now and then. Times like when I raise my voice and lose my calm with my daughter. I always apologize to her because I want her to know it's the right thing to do when you're in the wrong. I also want her to know I respect and value her. But when it's happening and my voice is rising and my anger is seething, I don't feel like a "good" parent.  Once I calm down and get past the moment, I realize I am still a "good" parent and that it's ok to make a mistake every now and then as long as you learn from the situation.

In conclusion, I feel that healthy living is about being your very best self. So go be your best self and remember to forgive yourself when you need forgiving; love yourself when you need to feel loved; and honor yourself when you need to be honored. Now go give someone you love a hug! It will make you both feel great!  

Namaste!